Donald Bernard "Barney" Honer, much loved father of Nancy, Tom, Bruce and Judy, passed away peacefully at St. Andrew's Health Care Center, on June 11, 2020 with his son, Bruce, at his side.  His funeral will be held on Thursday, June 18, 2020 at 2:00 pm at the St. Mark's Catholic church in Bottineau.  Visitation will be Wednesday from 1:00 pm until 9:00 pm with a prayer service at 7:00 pm at the Nero Funeral Home in Bottineau.

Barney was born on May 23, 1929 to Lawrence Bernard "Bernie" and Ann Honer. He was born and raised in Harvey, ND, living across the street from his grandparents, Martin and Jennie Honer. He was a talented athlete, receiving many high school basketball and football awards as a "Harvey Hornet". He enlisted in the U.S. Army upon graduation, serving in both the post WWII Occupation of Japan, as well as the Korean Conflict, until his honorable discharge in 1952.

On June 13, 1953, Barney married Marion Elaine Michel, from Spooner, Wisconsin who was attending the St. Andrew's School of Nursing at the Bottineau School of Forestry. He and Marion made their home in Bottineau where they raised their 4 children and became well known in the community, making many friends along the way.

Barney began working for Northwestern Bell as a telephone lineman in 1948 and retired from U.S. West as a combination technician after 41 years of cumulative service with the telephone company. Barney was active in the Knights of Columbus at St. Mark's Catholic Church, as well as the VFW and American Legion. He was also an avid cross country skier and loved to golf. He had a quick wit, with the ability to come up with a clever quip for any occasion. He loved to fish and swim, took meticulous care of his home and garden and was the ultimate family man.

Barney is survived by his four children, Nancy (Harlan) Fevold, Wenatchee, WA, Tom (Debi) Honer, Soldotna, AK, Bruce Honer, Bottineau, ND, and Judy Sills, Brush Prairie, WA, as well as seven grandchildren, Justin (Becky) Fevold, East Wenatchee, WA, Bryan (Lynn) Fevold, Highlands Ranch, CO, Tom Honer, Anchorage, AK, Jim Honer, Soldotna, AK, and Adrian, Quentin and Kayla Sills all from Brush Prairie, WA, and two great-grandchildren, Kinley and Quentin Fevold from East Wenatchee, WA. He is also survived by his sister Marlene Thiel, Forest Lake, MN, and nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. He is preceded in death by his wife, Marion, his parents, Bernie and Ann Honer, his brother Mark (Vi) Honer, and his brother-in-law, Bill Thiel.

Barney will be greatly missed and live forever in our hearts and memories. Donations may be made to St. Andrew's Health Care Center or St. Mark's Catholic Church.

Barney's funeral will be live streamed at https://youtu.be/YTg5nZOe_Es .

Donald Bernard "Barney" Honer

May 23, 1929 – June 11, 2020

Dad was born in Harvey, ND to Ann and Bernie Honer and grew up right across the street from his grandparents. Dad was known as Don to his family and friends in Harvey and as Barney to most everyone else.

Dad played basketball and football while in high school, being quite talented and receiving many athletic awards as a "Harvey Hornet". After graduating from high school, Dad enlisted in the U.S. Army and served in the post WW II Occupation of Japan. After his return he worked for a couple years before being called back to serve in the Korean Conflict until his honorable discharge in 1952.

On June 13, 1953, Dad married our Mom, Marion Elaine Michel from Spooner, Wisconsin, who was attending the School of Nursing at the School of Forestry in Bottineau. Thus began our family journey and what a trip it's been.

Dad started working for Northwestern Bell as a telephone lineman in 1948 after his return from Japan. Everyone about town just knew him as the "telephone man". Back then, it wasn't uncommon for someone to pick up the phone and call him at home, saying "Barney, I got some trouble with my phone" and Dad would go take care of it. He covered Dunseith and Souris, as well as Bottineau and whether summer or winter, in the middle of a heavy rainfall or a blizzard, he would shimmy up those tall poles, using a climbing belt and hooks to keep him from falling off, and get the job done. He walked to work every day from where we lived at 1001 Sinclair St to the office which was kitty corner from St. Mark's Catholic Church. He started out working with switch operators and installing corded rotary phones and over time became a combination technician. He was spending more time in the office and dealing with computers, which likely helped lead to his early retirement from U.S. West in 1990. 41 years with one company was quite an accomplishment though and not so common these days.

Dad had a great safety record with the telephone company and was meticulous in maintaining his vehicles. His first car, a '51 Ford was Dad's pride and joy, bright and shiny and the envy of all his friends. We kept that car a long time and took it out to Wisconsin for annual trips to Lake Des Moines with us stretched out on the seats, in the car window and on the floor as no one wore seat belts back then. We would stop periodically for Nancy, who got carsick easily, and she also remembers crouching down to hide out of embarrassment during the occasional breakdowns on the road. When that car was finally sold to get our brand new '69 Pontiac (remember Dad would hang onto vehicles as long as possible), I imagine it was hard for him to give it up. This was especially so, because the new owners had decked out the car with shag carpet on the dashboard and fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror. After the '69 Pontiac, the next family car was the Ford Taurus in 1989, twenty years later, and then after we were all grown and gone, they decided to get a Toyota Sienna minivan when there were just the two of them, that we could have all piled into had there been that option when we were kids.

He taught us to swim at Lake Metigoshe, giving us a quarter if we could make it from one end of the u-shaped rope barrier to the other without touching the bottom. He loved the water, as did Mom, and we visited local lakes often, including Carbury, Strawberry and Metigoshe. Dad loved fishing, even ice fishing and brought us kids with, making us each a little red pole with a little white and red bobber to put in the fishing hole that he would make with a hand held auger, scooping out the ice chunks with the little red handled scoop. I, being the youngest, would sometimes help the fish find their way back to the hole, feeling very sorry for them when they flopped around. Needless to say, I stopped getting invitations to come along.

We had many picnics at Butte St. Paul in the Turtle Mountains. There we climbed trees and chased each other up the hill to the monument at the top, while Dad pulled the 3 legged charcoal grill out of the trunk of the car and commenced to make his famous burnt hamburgers and hot dogs, followed by s'mores. He would also make us breakfast at home which consisted of burnt eggs, burnt bacon and burnt toast. And when grilling in the back yard, Mom would come out frequently to check on the status of the hamburgers and potatoes so she could intervene if necessary. In fact, several years ago, we found a glass with this saying etched on it that reminded us so much of Dad and it was this: "It ain't burnt until I say so". We all got a big chuckle out of that when we presented it to him.

He made us an igloo in the back yard with cut blocks of hard snow from the garden area and it actually looked like an igloo – at least we thought so – and it seemed so warm inside! He also cleared the garden area of snow in the winter and flooded it with water from the hose to make a skating rink for us.

He carefully tended that garden plot in the summer, growing a variety of vegetables and put cut milk cartons around the tomato plants to help retain the water. We had a beautiful garden. He took such good care of the yard, keeping the lilac hedges trimmed and the lawn mowed and edged, and did his own house repairs. He, like his father before him, was physically agile until these later years. He shoveled our walks after snowstorms by hand, forgoing the convenience of a snow blower until years later. He rode his bike all over town, even up to a few years ago. Even when he would fall off, he would get back on and continue riding, which was a concern to those who saw him out and about. He shingled our two story house, climbed up extension ladders to change out the storm windows and at the ripe old age of 84, even put a steel roof on the garage, declining help due to his desire for independence.

Every year, Dad took us all back to Mom's home state of Wisconsin for a Michel Family Reunion. We had so many great years there at the cabins where Dad loved to laugh and tell stories, peppered with his little quips. He enjoyed horseback riding, blueberry picking and many family picnics at Lake Des Moines. It was there he even learned to water ski. We would also visit his sister Marlene and her husband Bill, and their two kids Jackie and Dan, who lived in Forest Lake, near Minneapolis. We would barbeque in their back yard and tell stories and laugh together. These are good memories. We would also be sure to visit his Grandma Jennie Honer who was in a Minnesota nursing home. We would see Dad's brother Mark and his wife Vi, along with their daughter Debbie, in Devils Lake. We would visit them and Dad's parents in Harvey on a more frequent basis due to their proximity and they would visit us.

Dad and Mom had the trip of a lifetime when taking a trip to Alaska with Nanc and I to see our brother Tom and his wife Debi and their sons Tom and Jim. He was smiling ear to ear during that trip where we were able to see the sights as well as visit Tom, and when asked years later what his favorite trip had been over the years, he said "Alaska". Family was important to Dad. Our trips were to see family, and our time at home centered around family.

He loved his grandkids. He was a great Grandpa. He would get down on the floor to play with them, even interacting with them as babies, clapping his hands, batting balloons above their little heads. He made a little wooden puzzle for Justin, his first born grandchild, read story books to all of his grandkids and, in later years, went ice fishing and cross country skiing with Justin and Bryan. It was hard work with those little wooden skis and, because of that, they said that was actually the last time they ever went cross country skiing, taking up down hill skiing instead. Justin and Bryan, as young kids, gave him Garfield, one of their favorite cartoon books. Upon receiving it, Dad quipped "Garfield. My favorite cat".

Faith was very important to Dad. We prayed the Rosary regularly as a family, we prayed before and after meals, and made sure that we knew where we could go to Mass before embarking on any road trip. I recall him kneeling at the foot of his and Mom's bed every night before sleep, praying with his head bowed and his hands folded in prayer. He was an active member of the Knights of Columbus, receiving a Knight of the Year award and spending many hours volunteering to flip burgers at the Catholic food stand at the Fairgrounds. He volunteered for the Pancake Breakfasts, the Fall Turkey Suppers, and the Friday Lenten Fish Fries which we all attended as a family. He also taught Catechism for a couple of years, not because he thought he'd be a good teacher but because he felt it was his duty to be a "fisher of men". He was also an active member of the American Legion and VFW and would volunteer to put up flags around town for Memorial Day and other patriotic holidays, doing this for many years.

He was spry right into his later years. In fact at Mom and Dad's 50 ^th wedding anniversary celebration in Wisconsin, in 2003, while in his mid-70s, after spending a week at the lake, he was asked if he wanted to water ski one last time, as we were about ready to get into the car to drive home. We said "come on Dad, last chance" and he finally agreed. Unfortunately, it was then as he was being pulled up, his hamstring seized and he plopped over on his side and had to be fished out of the water and hauled up onto the dock to rest with a beer and an ice pack on his knee. Turns out he had ruptured his hamstring tendon and his knee was never quite the same. Despite this, he continued to accept challenges, even when asked if he wanted to try in line roller blading and jumping on a trampoline, with my kids, Adrian, Quentin and Kayla, both of which he did well into his 70s. Even into his mid 80s, even with his bum knee, he would gimp up and down the stairway when going from the apartments to be with Mom every day, rather than taking the elevator.

Dad was prudent, thrifty, frugal, a good money manager and knew how to save. He was into recycling before it was cool. In fact, he would retrieve our discarded shoes from the garbage that Mom had tried to get rid of, saying "these are perfectly good shoes for gardening" and Mom would just give up. When taking down our Christmas tree, we would painstakingly remove every strand of tinsel and drape it over a folded newspaper and store it away for the next year. I thought everybody did that until as an adult, I continued that practice and someone said "you do know a package of tinsel is probably 10 cents?" When us kids lamented the lack of a dishwasher, Dad would say "why would we need a dishwasher? We have four of them", meaning us four kids.

We had an old swimming pool that we used as kids. In fact, this is the one I was seen lying in at the bottom of the pool, apparently very still, on my back, face up, very calm until Dad realized, sitting right nearby, that I was underwater and quickly retrieved me. So he technically saved my life – at least once. Thanks, Dad! It had high sides, made out of corrugated metal and after having outgrown its use we assumed it had been given or thrown away. But….not so fast…decades later while Nanc was visiting, she happened to see an edging of sorts around the tomato plants and asked Dad what that was. He replied it was parts of the corrugated metal sides of the old swimming pool. Nanc said "I knew it!!" and had just wanted to hear what he had to say. Dad continued "I knew it would come in handy some day".

Similarly, I don't think there is one cousin, aunt or uncle at our family gatherings in Wisconsin who would not recognize the Styrofoam square floaties (some discarded remnants from his days at Northwestern Bell) that Dad brought faithfully to the lake each year, which we could sit, stand or kneel on, or just float on, face down. See how versatile they were, much more so than a store-bought flotation toy. Despite our bleak hopes, they never died, with Dad repairing them year after year with strapping tape that yellowed with age, but still held the halves together. Now, we remember them with great fondness.

Nancy's husband Harlan recalls canoeing on the Brule River in Wisconsin during a Michel Family reunion and after a canoe had tipped over and sandwiches had become water logged, Harlan was just going to toss them. Harlan recalled that Dad was disappointed and had said "I was going to eat them".

As kids, we also learned not to be wasteful. Dad would say "think of the poor children in China" when we balked at eating everything on our plate and one time, Nancy piped up and said "well, just send it to China then".

Looking back at that frugality, I see it as Dad must have seen it. Having been raised during the Depression, he learned the value of a dollar, as did so many others from that generation. To his great credit, he taught us all how to be good money managers and that has served us well in life, as it did for him. After paying cash for a new vehicle, he would put the equivalent of a monthly car payment into his savings account each month, to enable him to pay cash for the next vehicle. He was able to make regular donations to charities that were meaningful to him and had enough to take care of himself and his family, right up until the end. I remember a quote from him when asked how he would be able to handle all the expenses associated with hospitalizations, medical costs and care in later years. He would just say "I'm not worried". He also said "You know how I've always said you need to save for a rainy day? Well, now it's raining".

He loved food. He loved to eat food. He had his favorites, namely Chicken Chow Mein. Whatever restaurant we were at, he would be scouring the menu, looking for Chicken Chow Mein. When visiting us in the Bay Area, he searched the menu at a restaurant in San Francisco's infamous Chinatown and was disappointed to not find Chicken Chow Mein on the menu. So he had to settle for something close. Here I had thought he would get to taste the most authentic version of Chicken Chow Mein while in San Francisco but it was not meant to be. His reason for not deviating from that choice? He always said "if you like something, why change?" even though I think there is something to be said for variety. He became quite health conscious over the years but loved eating at buffets and eating desserts.

He loved desserts and would pick something up off a holiday tray at my sister's house, put it into his mouth and say "hmmm, if it tastes good, it must be bad for you". Over the years, he started to eat mostly chicken and fish and would stay away from "red meats". The first couple of years in the apartments at St. Andrew's, Nanc came to spend the weekend and was preparing a meal in the kitchen. Dad said "I suppose we're having chicken". Nanc said "oh, no I actually made pork chops because I know Mom likes them" and he said "well, beggars can't be choosers".

After retirement, he alternated between cross country skiing and golfing, in addition to walking and biking. He would go cross country skiing all winter and when he could no longer do so because the snow cover was so thin, but golfing hadn't started yet as there was still some snow on the ground, he would go up to the golf course anyway and get through the locked gate somehow. At some point, his shenanigans must have been discovered, as he was just given a key for easier access. For all we know, he still has it.

Dad earned his nickname "Two Ball Barney" because when he went out golfing, he would play two balls. When Nanc asked why he did that he replied "for the exercise". In the same vein, when cross country skiing with me one time, I was remarking how beautiful the woods were and was enjoying the frosty scenery while Dad was bent on maintaining a certain pace. At the end of our loop , when we finally stopped, he pulled a stopwatch out of his pocket and it was then I realized he had been timing himself. When I asked why, he replied he was trying to beat his previous time.

When calling Dad, Nanc would ask "how did you golf today, Dad?" "Oh, not good" Dad woud reply. Nanc would say "Dad, you always say that" and his reply was "yeah, but this time I really mean it".

Dad was given a golf ball retriever as a gift many years ago and enjoyed retrieving golf balls as much as he did hitting them. When we sold our family home and were clearing out the contents, we came across several 5 gallon buckets of golf balls as well as drawers full of balls that we didn't know what to do with. We had the idea that the country club might take them. Sure enough, they said they would pay 50 cents a ball. We said great! And hauled up our buckets of balls and when we brought up one bucket and said we had several more buckets in the car, the gal at the front desk exclaimed "oh no, I didn't know you had that many. I'm not authorized to pay for that much". Instead, she offered $200 and a discount off next year's country club membership. It was a deal! Dad continued golfing until about 4 years ago, at the age of 87, because the next summer he was having more difficulty walking. And recalling what he had said to Nanc on more than one occasion which was, "the day I need to use a cart will be the day I stop golfing", he did just that.

Dad always liked to be on time, whether going to church, taking a trip or whatever. I often asked why we had to get up so early, when he drove me back to Minot to catch the train. We would leave an hour and a half earlier than I thought we needed to. He would reply "it's always better to be early than to be late" and it was best to be prepared for he called "unexpected delays". He also always had what he called a "winter survival kit" in the car and was just always prepared. All maintenance was up to date, duly recorded, and everything was organized. Even if we were on time, he had a favorite saying after we were all finally piled in the car, ready to go. He would start the engine, put his foot on the pedal and call out "And We're Off Like a Herd of Turtles". To this day, Nanc and I's kids know that phrase about as well as we did when we ourselves were kids.

Dad was not a man to complain. In fact, even in his later years as he grappled with a progressive neurological condition and before it robbed him of his ability to speak, he still never complained and just dealt with whatever life brought his way. He was dedicated to Mom and spent countless hours at her bedside, down at Trinity Hospital in Minot after her multiple traumas, sitting up in a wooden chair for hours on end, keeping vigil and being her advocate, making sure the staff all knew Mom's special needs. Finally, the staff said "we can do better than that" and told him to just sleep on the bed next to her as she was in a double room and no one else was in there. Dad would just lie down on top of the covers, careful to not do anything to get him kicked out. When finally able to bring her home to Bottineau, he wanted to care for her himself in the apartment he had secured next to St. Andrew's Hospital. Nancy recalls telling him that would be too hard, given Mom's multiple medical problems. His reply was "sometimes you have to do the hard thing" and he was going to try. Mom later did get admitted to St. Andrew's Hospital, and there he played a similar role as at Trinity, first coming up from the apartments adjacent to the hospital to be with Mom every day and later being a resident there himself. Unable to speak, he showed his committment to Mom in other ways. Always monitoring her care, tenderly brushing her hair aside, kissing her good night and arranging her pillows around her before retreating to his own room for the night, every night without fail. Right up until Mom's death, he was at her side, there when she passed. Bruce was with Mom and Dad on a near daily basis for years, especially these last couple years. He visited Dad nearly every day of the week, brought him outside with his walker, and later wheeled him all about town, bringing him to games and to Bottineau Forestry Park, one of Mom and Dad's favorite places to go. He knew his state of mind throughout these past years and knew that as long as Dad was still able to smile, that everything was all right. Dad was able to smile a little even the evening before he passed, and he passed peacefully with Bruce right there by his side. The staff who cared for him and Mom so well over the years tell us how much they will miss him and have missed Mom as well. They recall his quick wit and the laughter it brought. We know his life was much richer because of them and we are eternally grateful.

Dad had a clever quip for every occasion. In closing, it is perhaps fitting to mention one more memorable quip from Dad. It occurred when Nanc was walking out at the cemetery with him to look over available plots. As it turns out, he and Mom got the very last available plots at the Catholic Cemetery here in Bottineau and as Dad contemplated his eventual return to the dust from which he came, he turned to Nanc and said "Finally, a Hole in One".